Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MAY 12 - 18, 2008
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MISCELLANEOUS
Man, Machine Sign Historic Accord
We'll treat them with respect if they promise not to enslave us.
Expedia Offers Under-$600 Tax Rebate Tours to “Explore America”
Actually, just Cleveland.
 
HIGH TECH
Coming: Wi-Fi Implants That Call Doctor in Case of Heart Attack
Order pizza in case of hunger attack.
Comcast Mulls Limit on Monthly Downloads for Subscribers
Up to 150,000 junk emails or 150 porn clips.
 
SPORTS
Olympic Torch Reaches Summit of Mt. Everest
Where it's met by thousands of protesters.
FEATURE
As a result of her aggressive response to Dow Chemical’s polluting of Saginaw Bay and Lake Huron with dioxin, EPA Regional Administrator Mary Gade has been:
  A ) promoted
  B ) given the EPA Defender of the Environment Award
  C ) invited to Jenna Bush's wedding
  D ) forced to resign
  Hint: Do you really need a hint?
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Revealed: Leading Retailers Selling Used Tires as New
“New to you,” they explain.
 
POLITICS
McCain in 1999: Bush “Dumb
as a Stump”

McCain in 2008: Bush “smart as a tree.”

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