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Ironic Times

 NO. 393 “Expect the Ironic” MARCH 24 - 30, 2008 

Mar 17
Mar 31
BIN LADEN RETURNS TO AIRWAVES
First time since end of writers strike.
 
WORLD NEWS
Iraq National Unity Conference Holds Promise of Reconciliation
Both major Sunni, Shiite political blocks boycott event.
Iraq War Costs $5000 Per Second
Or about $25,000 since you began reading this.
 
21ST CENTURY UPDATE
U.S. Destroys Garden of Eden
China destroys Shangri-la.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Corn Flake Shaped Like Illinois Sells on eBay for $1350
Buyer hopes to purchase hundreds more, add milk and fruit.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Assures Worried Nation He’s
“On Top of the Situation”

Points out his adept handling of previous crises.
White House: Hard Drives Containing Subpoenaed Emails Destroyed
Part of administration's War on Clutter.
 
REMINDER
  Properly prepared, insects are delicious and an excellent source of protein.
 
Audit: FBI Has Outdated, Inaccurate Information About Terror Suspects
But up-to-date, highly accurate data on protesters.
Everybody in New York Admits to
Extramarital Affairs

All appear with spouses in painful news conferences.
 
POLITICS
McCain: Fellow Arizonans Would Call For Vigorous Response to Cross-Border Rocket Attacks
But rules out preemptive invasion of Mexico.
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