Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 6 - 12, 2007
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PEOPLE
Keith Richards Signs Deal for Tell-All Autobiography
Comprising what he can remember of more than forty years as member of Rolling Stones, book will be eight pages.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
In Last Years, Bergman Admits
His Own Movies Depressed Him

Especially the comedies.
 
BUSINESS
Study: Brutal, Tyrannical Bosses
Get Promoted

By their boss, who's even more brutal and tyrannical.
Cerberus Capital Management Wins
Majority Share of Chrysler

First prize was minority share.
Ford Recalling 3.6 Million Vehicles
Just to get them off the dealers' lots.
SCIENCE
Scientists: Unlikely We'll Ever Detect Extraterrestrial TV Signals
But we'll continue scanning the skies, mainly in sweeps months.
Cutting Edge Technology Being
Used to Create Robot With
Sense of Humor

Already knows 1200 “knock-knock” jokes.
 
 
Physicists Hope to Capture Elusive “God Particle”
If it can't be found, they will invent one.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study Finds We Have 237 Different Reasons for Having Sex
All of them good.
Phone Counseling May Help Alcoholics
But not phoneaholics.

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