Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 16 - 22, 2007
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PEOPLE
Mexico's Carlos Slim Passes Warren Buffett to Become World's 2nd Richest
Decided by Slim's slightly longer ball of string.
Kissinger Receives Honorary Doctorate
From Ho Chi Minh City College.
 
MEDIA
Results of DNA Test Finally Ends Long, Tawdry Anna Nicole Saga
Fox News calls for more tests.
Imus Fired From Radio Show for Racist, Insensitive Remarks
Will be replaced by Howard Stern.
 
BUSINESS
Circuit City Lays Off 3400 Veteran, Higher-Paid Employees
Salesmen who didn't know difference between CD and DVD replaced by salesmen who don't know difference between minimum wage and job security.
SCIENCE
New Data Indicates Global Warming Even Worse Than Thought
Public urged to “panic.”
Cellphone Use Could Be Cause of Honeybee Disappearance
Bees spend so much time on phone they've stopped making honey.
Study: “Robin Hood Impulse”
Part of Human Nature

Below a certain income level.
 
U.S. Military Funding Flying Saucer Research
Also ray guns, robot armies, giant worms, Death Star.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Most Angioplasties Unneeded
Patients urged to stop asking for them.
Report: Teens in Abstinence
Classes Still Having Sex

Some during class.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
George Orwell's Former Residence Surrounded by 32 Cameras
Not counting one in his grave to monitor spinning.

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