THIS WEEK IN IRONY
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Ironic Times

 NO. 330 “Expect the Ironic” JANUARY 8 - 14, 2007 

Jan 1
Jan 15
BUSH WILL SEND 20,000 IMPERIAL TROOPERS TO IRAQ
Surge represents first stage of Operation Empire Strikes Back.
 
WORLD NEWS
In Major Shakeup, Ministers of Defense, Interior, Foreign Affairs, Finance and Oil Remain in Place in Iraq
Maliki Replaces Ministers of Culture, Tourism.
Mullah Omar Says He Hasn't
Seen Bin Laden in 5 Years

What's more, “he never writes, he never calls.”
 
ENVIRONMENT
Oil Companies Express Alarm,
Concern About Global Warming

Following precipitous drop in demand for home heating oil.
 
SPACE
Amazon's Bezos Unveils Commercial Space Program
Rocket will deliver packages within ten minutes (with free Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25).
U. S. NEWS
White House Legal Counsel
Harriet Miers Resigns

Loses cab to John Negroponte, also rushing out.
Given They Knew Then What
They Know Now, 57 Senators
Wouldn't Have Voted for War

Given they know now what they'll know 12 months from now, 100 wouldn't have voted for it.
 
REMINDER
  Write “2007” on your checks for things you bought in 2003.
 
Marine Commandant : Death Toll in Iraq for U.S. Troops “Not Excessive”
When measured against other unnecessary wars.
FBI Files Reveal Former Chief Justice Rehnquist Had Hallucinations
Thought he was being chased by angry mob of disenfranchised black voters.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Town 25 Miles From Orlando
Overrun by Mice

Vermin have four fingers, wear white gloves, display obnoxiously sunny disposition.
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