Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 18 - 24, 2006
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ENVIRONMENT
More Signs of Global Warming
Scientists point to accelerated melting of polar ice pack, rapidly shrinking European glaciers, proliferation of clothing-optional ski resorts (right).
 
FACTOID
There Are Over 60 Lobbyists for
Every Member of Congress

And over 60 lawyers for every lobbyist.
 
WAR ON TERROR
  Profiles from the Department of
Homeland Security's Potential
Terrorist Target List
  Potential Target:   The Amish Country Popcorn Factory  
  Location:   Berne, Indiana  
  How To Get There:   Gravel road  
  Crucial Function:   Makes popcorn  
  Who Works There:   Amish people  
  How They Get There:   Horses, Buggies  
  Fun Fact:   Indiana has the largest number of potential terrorist targets of any state. (Wisconsin is second.)  
  Next week's profile:   Mule Day Parade, Columbia, Tenn.  
FEATURE
The American Center for Voting Rights is:
A ) a non-partisan group seeking to defend the right of all Americans to vote.
B ) a group of beings from Pluto seeking to have their home recertified as a planet.
C ) an organization of Republicans which promotes and defends state laws designed to prevent minorities from voting.
Hint: what could be more American than stealing an election?
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: Celebrities More Narcissistic Than Rest of Us
Findings reported in latest issue of Duh magazine.
Dog Weddings Gaining in Popularity
Bill already moving through Congress that would ban same-sex canine marriages.

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