Ironic Times

 NO. 306 “Expect the Ironic” JULY 24 - 30, 2006 

July 17
July 31
 
AT NAACP BUSH SAYS RACISM STILL EXISTS
Fortunately, for his party.
 
WORLD NEWS
Iraq Violence Intensifies
Factions fighting over whether or not they're in a civil war.
After Opening Second Front in
Lebanon, Israel Warns Syria, Iran

Puts Brazil, Cambodia on notice.
Milestone: Coalition Forces Turn First
Province Over to Iraqi Army

Ceremony attended by entire population of province and both of his camels.
Afghanistan's Cabinet Proposes
Reestablishing Religious Police

U.S. Religious Police support proposal.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Blair Angrily Denies He's “Bush's Poodle”
Pees on reporter's leg.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Finally Takes Action on
Pentagon Lawyer Responsible
For Abu Ghraib Debacle

Appoints him to Federal Appeals Court.
Army Softens Basic Training
So Fewer Soldiers Will Wash Out

Jacuzzi, massage, turn-down service now standard for new recruits.
 
REMINDER
  The failed businessman of today is the failed president of tomorrow.
 
Gonzales: Bush Personally
Blocked Wiretapping Probe

Considered it an invasion of his privacy.
Dept. of Homeland Security
Paid for Escort Services

Part of effort to protect nation from terrorists disguised as prostitutes.
 
POLITICS
House Republicans Say Gay Marriage Amendment “God's Idea”
Apparently He created gays, then realized He'd made a horrible mistake.
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