Ironic Times

 NO. 293 “Expect the Ironic” APRIL 24 - 30, 2006 

Apr 17
May 1
 
AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL: CHINA TOP EXECUTIONER, U.S. 4TH
Shown: Presidents Hu, Bush swap execution stories.
 
WORLD NEWS
Saddam Defends Killing
Thousands of Kurds

Says he thought they had WMDs.
Blair Plans on Staying in
No. 10 Downing St. Until 2009

If his successor lets him sleep on couch downstairs.
 
EDUCATION
Report: “No Child Left Behind”
Loophole Leaves Two Million
Children Behind

Act quickly renamed "No More Than Two Million Children Left Behind."
 
MILESTONES
Queen Elizabeth Celebrates 80th Birthday
Party hosted by Prince Charles and What's-her-name.
U. S. NEWS
White House: Constitution Gives President Right to Lie
Even about what's in the Constitution.
Report: Unusually Sharp
Decline in Death Rate

New environmental policies should correct that.
Karl Rove to Relinquish Policy Duties
He'll concentrate on coordinating smear campaigns for upcoming midterm elections.
 
REMINDER
  If you have to ask, you can't afford a full tank.
 
Revealed: National Archives
Signed Secret Pact Allowing
CIA to Withdraw Documents

Only thing left is heavily redacted letter from Bess Truman to Mamie Eisenhower.
 
POLITICS
Republicans Anxious as Midterm Elections Approach
Facing loss of majority in Congress, inevitable investigations, arrests, prosecutions, convictions, prison sentences, hard time in dank, rat-infested cells.
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   Copyright 2006 Ironic Times