Ironic Times

 NO. 290 “Expect the Ironic” APRIL 3 - 9, 2006 

Mar 27
Apr 10
 
BUSH WELCOMES PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA TO OVAL OFFICE
Responding to
e-mail, gives him $25,000 to claim $20 million held in Nigerian bank.
 
WORLD NEWS
Bush Meets With Leaders of
Mexico, Canada

Scores pot from Fox, Xanax from Harper.
Aquamarine Zone Under Construction Within Green Zone in Baghdad
Super-secure area reserved for U.S. officials explaining how well things are going.
 
POLITICS
Dems Unveil Fall Election Strategy
Squabbling, half-hearted endorsements, post-election recriminations.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
National Debt Clock Running
Out of Digits

Owners must borrow to keep it operating.
 
U. S. NEWS
Senate Establishes Tough New Lobbying Rules
Senators must pay for third, fourth round of martinis.
Report: Pentagon Has Spent
Nearly $2 Billion on Propaganda

Works out to $1 billion for every person who believed it.
 
 
REMINDER
  It's spring break:  do you know
  where your bikini top is?
 
Study: Wage Gap Widens
Between Rich and Poor

President credits sound fiscal policy.
Army Won't Let Soldiers Buy
Own Body Armor

Must use defective junk purchased from Bush's Uncle Bucky.
 
CORRECTION
 
In a recent article, we quoted Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (left) as saying "To my critics I say, Vaffanculo." At the time we did not know what this meant. We sincerely regret printing a word not appropriate for all family members.
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