Ironic Times

 NO. 289 “Expect the Ironic” MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2006 

Mar 20
Apr 3
 
PRICE TO MEET PRESIDENT CUT FROM $25,000 TO $19,995
Discount prompted by drop in demand.
WORLD NEWS
Rumsfeld: No Civil War in Iraq
Sects at odds since 7th century will soon resolve their differences.
Study: Many Big Cities Will Be Underwater by 2100
Finding triggers real estate boom in Nepal.
 
POLL
Bush's Popularity Drops to
New Low of 33

Only 33 people like job he's doing.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Pennsylvania Restaurant Serves World's Biggest Burger
Sixteen-pounder with all the trimmings feeds two.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Affirms Preemptive Strike Policy
Who can argue with success?
Thousands Take to Streets to Protest
New Immigration Law Proposals

Nobody available to clean up after protests.
Report: Cheney Gets All His
Information From Fox News

Which gets all its information from Cheney.
 
REMINDER
   If we leave Iraq the Iraqis will
   have won.
 
Big Shakeup Expected at White House
Mostly among kitchen staff.
Cabinet Rehearses Disaster Response
Agency heads go home, wait two days before telling president, who ignores them.
 
ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLER
 
C) permanent deployment
Partial credit also given for:
A) long-term operation, D) extended stay, E) indefinite commitment, F) unending temporary presence, and H) until there's no more oil.
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