Ironic Times

 NO. 286 “Expect the Ironic” MARCH 6 - 12, 2006 

Feb 27
Mar 13
CHENEY TOTALS RARE FERRARI
Waits two weeks to tell President.
 
WORLD NEWS
U.S., India in Atom Pact
We'll supply them fuel for nuclear weapons, they'll help us with our AOL dial-up connection.
British Study: Global Warming Tipping Point Has Already Passed
Governments of all nations call on Superman to save planet.
 
BUSINESS
Analysis: American Economy
Enters New Era

We borrow trillions from other countries to pay their workers low wages to make things our laid-off workers can afford.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Barney Distances Himself From Bush
President's dog takes more neutral stance, looking ahead to November.
U. S. NEWS
Senate Rejects Independent
Ethics Office

“We don't need no stinkin' ethics,” says one.
Survey: Only One in 1,000 Americans
Can Name All Five Rights
Guaranteed in 1st Amendment

Those who do are detained, questioned.
 
REMINDER
   Once a mini-mall is gone, it's gone
   forever.
 
House Passes Bill To Stop Requiring
EPA to Look at Effect of Pesticides

Just slows everything down, say lawmakers.
Los Angeles Police to End
High-Speed Car Chases

Move blamed on low ratings.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Vitamin-Enhanced Beer
Hits Store Shelves

Niche product targets healthy drunks.
 
ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLER
 
B) Massive incompetence.
Partial credit also given for A) Greed,
C) Arrogance, D) Negligence, E) Brutality,
F) Indifference, G) Lawbreaking, and
H) Mind-boggling stupidity.
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