| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 Greece: Hiker
Finds 6500-Year-
Old Gold Pendant
Throws it away, saying
he's a Creationist. |
|
| |
| RELIGION |
|
Supreme Court Approves Small
Church's Use of Hallucinogenic Tea
Tiny congregation swells 3000%. |
| |
| KIDZ KORNER |
Write
Your Own News Story! Just
Fill in the Blanks in
this Reusable News
Template:
New research has shown
that, contrary to what
was previously believed,
women taking _______do not
benefit in lower rates of
______. In fact, women who
took _______for ____ years or
more suffered from an
alarmingly higher
incidence of _______, so
high that the study had
to be terminated. The
_______ company, maker
of _______ has challenged
the study's methodology,
insisting that when used
as directed, the drug is
safe and effective. The
FDA, which approved the
drug for use in _______,
apparently ignored
evidence of _______ in
preliminary studies,
according to ________, a
scientist who worked at
the FDA at the time but
was fired after raising
the issue. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| Fed up with
overreaching by the
executive branch with the
collusion of the
legislative branch, the
Supreme Court has finally
agreed to review the
Constitutionality of: |
| A ) | Bush's
secret order to bypass
the FISA court and
wiretap Americans in the
U.S. without a warrant. |
| B ) | Bush's
unilateral decision to
authorize torture for the
first time in American
history. |
| C ) | The
Clean Water Act. |
| Hint: It's been way
too long since the Cuyahoga River
caught fire. |
|
| What happens
when you say aloud the
words, “The Ethics
Committee of the American
League of Lobbyists”? |
| A ) | You call into our
dimension the notorious
Mr. Mxyzptlk. |
| B ) | You disappear into a
wormhole, emerge in an
alternate universe. |
| C ) | The Four Horsemen of
the Apocalypse materialize on the steps
of the Capitol. |
| Hint: You could find
out easily enough by
saying it, but we don't
advise it. |
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