Ironic Times

 NO. 279 “Expect the Ironic” JANUARY 16- 22, 2006 

Jan 9
Jan 23
  SPACECRAFT CARRYING COMET DUST RETURNS TO EARTH
Unlocks mystery of universe, details of which were not available at press time.
 
 
WORLD NEWS
British PM Blair Admits
He Spanked His Children

But only after U.S. asked him to.
Bush Touts Progress of Iraqi Economy
Unemployment rate of 40% likely over-stated since so many are employed in the insurgency.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
New Jersey Picks Slogan
It's “New Jersey: Come See for Yourself,” announces Gov. Richard J. Codey (above, second from right).
U. S. NEWS
Bush Invites Responsible Criticism
Of His Policies in Iraq

Like calls for more troops, harsher interrogation of detainees.
Army Continues to Relax Recruiting Standards to Meet Need
Now accepting former enemy combatants.
 
REMINDER
  Put some distance between yourself
  and Jack Abramoff.
 
Report: DeLay Won Seat
Due to Reapportionment

Gerrymandered district's residents mostly short white men with bad toupees.
EPA to Change Method Used to Estimate Mileage
New procedure involves spinning wheel instead of throwing darts.
 
 
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   Copyright 2006 Ironic Times