Ironic Times

 NO. 276 "Expect the Ironic" DEC 26, 2005 - JAN 1, 2005 

Dec 19
Jan 2
IRONIC TIMES
MAN OF THE YEAR
Dick Cheney
From trying to convince Congress to legalize torture to defending the President's right to spy on his fellow citizens to questioning the patriotism of administration critics, nobody represented the freedom-loving American spirit better than Vice President Dick Cheney, our Man of the Year for 2005.
 
WORLD NEWS
New Bolivian Leader Intends to Legalize Coca Crop
And ban Coca-Cola.
A Year of Progress in Iraq
We've established democracy three times, stamped out all corruption twice, stopped abusing prisoners again and again, liberated Falluja repeatedly, trained Iraqi security forces successfully over and over, devised strategy for victory time after time and won the war on numerous occasions.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Early Box Office Receipts for King Kong Disappointing
Most moviegoers say they're waiting for next remake.
U. S. NEWS
Bush's Approval Ratings Soar
Respondents “afraid” to say anything negative in phone survey.
Jury Awards $172 Million to
Wal-Mart Employees Denied
Lunch Breaks

Rejects company's “they didn't look hungry” defense.
 
REMINDER
  If we face up to reality, the realists
  will have won.
 
Some Wealthy, Powerful Citizens Mull Forcing Bush to Sign New Agreement
Working title: “The Magna Carta.”
Congress Taking Month's
Vacation for Christmas

Extra time needed to spend pay increase they voted for themselves.
 
MILESTONES
Lesbians in Nation's First Civil Union Split Up in Nasty Divorce
Proving gays are totally in the mainstream.
 
 
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