Ironic Times

 NO. 222 "Expect the Ironic" DECEMBER 13 - 19, 2004 

Dec 6
Dec 20
  IN SHOW OF TRUST, UKRAINIAN CANDIDATES AGREE TO TERMS OF NEW ELECTION
 
  Pictured: opposition leader Yushchenko, Moscow-backed candidate Yanukovich, outgoing President Kuchma, and their respective food tasters.
 
WORLD NEWS
CIA Station Chief in Baghdad
Warns Situation Deteriorating,
U.S. Moves Quickly in Response

Replaces station chief.
U.S. Ranks Dead Last Among Rich
Nations in Foreign Aid

But first in reality TV.
 
PUBLIC HEALTH
CDC: No Threat From Asian Bird Flu
CDC director (second from right) assures public there's no need to panic.
U. S. NEWS
Rumsfeld Sees American Troops
Out of Iraq in 4 Years

They'll be in Iran, he adds.
Halliburton Contracts in Iraq
Pass $10 Billion Mark

Some questions remain about $2 billion sand-for-food program.
New Military Radio System
Uses Same Frequency As
Garage Door Openers

Next time you want to open your garage, ask yourself: do I really want to nuke Kyrgyzstan?
 
REMINDER
   We're living in the golden age of
   gangsta rap.
 
Centrist Reid Takes Over
Democratic Senate Leadership
From Centrist Daschle

Party strategists hope message can be even
more muddled.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Rapidly Sinking Dollar Surprises American Tourists Abroad
Many forced to sleep under bridges, beg for spare change, entertain for scraps of food.
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