Ironic Times

 NO. 215 "Expect the Ironic" OCTOBER 25 - 31, 2004 

Oct 18
Nov 1
 
KERRY GOES GOOSE-HUNTING IN CRUCIAL SWING STATE OHIO
“Bagged some nice foie gras,” he tells reporters.
 
WORLD NEWS
As Haitian Violence Mounts, U.S.
Lifts Arms Embargo

Will allow thugs to better defend themselves against hoodlums.
 
ELECTION '04
Teresa Heinz-Kerry Tells
Cheney to “Shove It”

He tells her, “Go fuck yourself.”
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Long Waits Continue for Flu Shots
Some in the more vulnerable category don't make it.
U. S. NEWS
75% of Bush Supporters Still
Believe WMDs Exist, Iraq Had
Ties With Al Qaeda

Other 25% never heard of WMDs, Iraq, Al Qaeda.
Kerry Faults Bush for Mismanaging War, Budget, Economy, Environment
Bush faults Kerry for criticizing him.
 
REMINDER
  Happy days are here again, assuming
  you're a military contractor.
 
Bush Unveils New, Compassionate Foreign Policy
Will provide funds for grief counseling, sensitivity training after all future invasions.
New Jersey Woman Wins Super Powerball Lottery
She'll receive one flu shot each year for the next twenty years.
Report: Gap Widening Between
Poor, Wealthy Schools

Poor schools “consistently clobber” wealthy ones at football, study shows.
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