Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 6 - 12, 2004
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TRAVEL
England: First Druid Theme Park Could Open Soon
Six Flags Over Stonehenge still faces a few legal hurdles.
 
SPORTS
Bobby Knight Sitcom in the Works
He'll play mild- mannered basketball coach whose gentle prodding of young, impressionable players stands in stark contrast to high-powered world of college athletics.
Synchronized Swimming Gets Network Contract
It will be seen every night on the Playboy Channel.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
BIG STORM LASHES FLORIDA
Medicare premiums to rise 17%.
ELECTION '04
 
Republicans Adopt Platform
Some key features:
     No abortion
     No same-sex marriage
     No affordable drugs
     No health insurance
     No clean air
     No peace
     No fun
 
TRENDS
Back-to-School Fashions Changing Again This Year
Body piercing (right) is out, snake swallowing (left) is in.
 
CORRECTION
Last week, due to a production error, we quoted President Bush describing his Iraq policy as a “successful catastrophe.” In fact, he described it as a “catastrophic success.” We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.

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