Ironic Times

 NO. 191 "Expect the Ironic" MAY 10 - 16, 2004

May 3
May 17
 
BUSH ON ARAB TV PROMISES SWIFT JUSTICE
Vows that perpetrators of heinous crimes “will be reprimanded.”
WORLD NEWS
20,000 Troops Rushed to
Iraq Ahead of Schedule

They're members of the 177th Lawyers Battalion.
U.S. Ballistic Missile Defense
System Almost Ready

Rockets will be poised to shoot down any nuclear missiles launched by our allies.
 
LIFESTYLE
Baby Boomers' Kids Off to
College, Pot Use Grows

With no supervision, parents run wild.
 
LAW
Army to Sell Ad Space
Revenue will help pay for war.
U. S. NEWS
Talk in Washington of Reviving Draft
Cheney applies for a deferment.
Report: Airlines Gave Travelers' Records to FBI After 9/11
You barely touched the lasagna, ate half the roll, then had two brownies when the guy sitting next to you fell asleep.
Bush: Iraqi Prison Abuses
Will Be Fully Investigated

Wants complete report from Henry Kissinger on his desk day after election.
 
REMINDER
  Children should watch a minimum
  of 5 hours of television every day.
 
Powell Said to Be Physically,
Mentally Tired

Weaving of tangled webs exhausting.
Bush Pick for National Archivist Hid Records, Say Historians, Archivists
“He's perfect,” says White House.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Kerry Accuses Bush of Leading
Country Down Road to Ruin

Bush accuses Kerry of waffling about
whether he still has his war medals.
 
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