Ironic Times

 NO. 163 "Expect the Ironic" OCT. 27 - NOV. 2, 2003 

Oct 20
Nov 3
 
SCHWARZENEGGER
MOVES QUICKLY TO FILL KEY STATE POSITIONS
His nominee to head the Labor Relations Board (left) is expected to be approved.
 
WORLD NEWS
North Korea Named “Rookie
Nuclear Power of the Year”

Edges out Iran for title.
U.S. Collects Pledges From World
For Iraq Rebuilding Effort
Britain: 50,000 Surplus “Golden Jubilee” Place Mats
Germany: 10,000 Official Berlin Wall Commemorative Bricks
France: 5,000 Edith Piaf's Greatest Hits CDs
Russia: 1 million Stolichnaya Vodka swizzle sticks
World Bank: Free Checking
Japan: 20,000 How to Make Your Own Beautiful Origami Kits
Spain: 100,000 “I Ran With the Bulls at Pamplona and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt” T-shirts
South Korea: 15,000 “I Visited the DMZ and Lived to Tell About It” coffee mugs
U. S. NEWS
Church, State Merge
Layoffs expected.
Senators Demand, Get Pay Raise
After tough negotiation with themselves, they accede to their demands
New Era in Foreign Policy: No More Sad Photos of Flag-Draped Caskets Returning From Distant Battlefields
Photos are now banned.
 
REMINDER
    Lying is once again fashionable.
 
Census: Record Number of
Women Delaying or Opting
Out of Motherhood

Due to declining quality of children.
High Test Standards Under “No Child Left Behind Act” Threaten Funding
But Administration hopes standards can be met by hard work, discipline, cheating.
 
POLITICS
Barbara Bush Calls Democratic Candidates a “Sorry Group”
Democratic candidates call Barbara Bush a “miserable old battle-ax.”
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