| RELIGION |
 |
Pope
Beatifies Mother Teresa
Cites miracles, sizzling
sainthood promotional
video (right) as reasons. |
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| SPORTS |
|
Red Sox, Cubs Fans Descend
On Washington
Lobby Congress to legalize assisted
suicide. |
|
White House Receives Praise
From Major League Baseball
Thanks to global warming, playoffs can
extend all the way into November. |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Strikes Cripple Beverly Hills
Simultaneous walkouts by personal
trainers, aromatherapists, plastic
surgeons brings city to a standstill. |
|
Best in Show
“Tom Tom”
(shown) wins top prize at
New York Cat Show by only
biting one judge. |
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LETTERS
Dear
Editor,
My name is YOUR
NAME HERE and
I am stationed in NAME
OF LOCATION HERE,
Iraq with the NAME
AND NUMBER OF YOUR UNIT HERE.
Much of what the media has been
reporting about Operation Iraqi
Freedom is wrong. We have been
working hard to improve
Iraq's NAME
OF DAMAGED INFRASTRUCTURE
YOU’RE WORKING ON HERE. In
conjunction with HALLIBURTON
OR BECHTEL HERE, we
will restore Iraq's WATER,
ELECTRIC, OR OIL SYSTEM HERE. In NAME
OF PROVINCE HERE, we
are working hard to earn the
respect and trust of the local SUNNI,
KURD, OR SHIITE HERE
population. Just thought the
readers of NAME
OF LIBERAL NEWSPAPER HERE
should know.
Sincerely,
YOUR
NAME AND RANK HERE |
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