| PEOPLE |
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Gubernatorial Candidate
Mary Carey Pledges to
Serve Out Term
If elected in California recall,
actress will not run for
President. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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 TV: Movie
Depicting Bush Since 9/11
Premieres
Timothy Bottoms plays the
President in “Photo
Op,” about brave
photographers who took pictures
of Bush in various heroic
settings. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Greenspan Confident Economy
Will Turn Around in Future
Won't specify in which decade, but
remains upbeat. |
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New British
Car Turns Into Boat
But can't fly,
complain critics. |
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| SCIENCE |
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NASA: Hubble Images
Digitized, Colorized, Improved for PR
Reasons
Quasars with blemishes, unsightly black
holes airbrushed out; photos of “Big
Bang” enhanced. |
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Hippo Population Down 95%
Hippo experts blame lack of vibrant
social life, few places to meet members
of the opposite sex, and prudish
attitudes among older hippos. |
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Mysterious Giant
Sea Creature
Washes Up in Chile
It's carefully examined,
cleaned, cooked, and
eaten. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Job Stress, Burnout on Rise
Experts attribute trend to some damn thing
or other. |
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Bush Administration To Allow
Hospitals to Cut Emergency
Room Staff, Services
Following large donation from morticians
union. |
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Study: All Americans Now
Obese
Except those in beer commercials. |
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