Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 18 - 24, 2003
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PEOPLE
Unabomber Seeks Return of His Bomb
“It's in the mail,” says FBI.
ENTERTAINMENT
Groups Heap Criticism on Mel Gibson Movie Depicting Death of Christ
Claim Jesus was not killed in fiery car crash following high-speed chase.
Equal Time Provision Forces Schwarzenegger Movies, “Diff'rent Strokes” Reruns Off TV
First good thing about the recall, say experts.
 
BUSINESS
Upscale McDonald's Debuts in Florida
At Chef Mac's Café, diners are provided with linen napkins, polished silverware, exemplary service from a British-trained staff, and the same great burgers, fries, and shakes.
SCIENCE
DNA Analysis Reveals 5,300-
Year-Old Caveman Died Violently

Wandered into bad neighborhood wearing wrong colors.
Universe Will Eventually Go
Dark, Say Astronomers

But not for several weeks.
 
Face of Queen Nefertiti Reconstructed By Computer
Scores 8.5 on "Are You Hot?"
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Report: Kids Who Are Teased
End Up Depressed, Suicidal

Kids who tease them end up happy, optimistic.
 
APOLOGY
Due to last week’s blackout, a story about the tremendous success of deregulation of the power industry never ran. We will try to run it again in the near future.

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