Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 11-17, 2003
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PEOPLE
Men Begin Flight to Sun on Homemade Wings
Expect trip to take ten days, if all goes well.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
TV Exec Pays $50,000 to Find Out Who's So Vain
Carly Simon tells NBC Sports chief Dick Ebersol that it's him.
 
BUSINESS
Report: Major U.S. Banks Shelter Billions From Taxes
But most offer free checking (with a minimum balance).
Thousands of Corporate Criminals Break Out of Prison
Explains why so few are behind bars.
Super-Sizing Comes To the Kitchen
New line of extra large pots and pans will go on sale this fall, catering to growing American appetites.
SCIENCE
Astronomers Predict Earth-Like
Planet Will Be Discovered
Within Decade

Unless they discover us first.
Rock From Mars Found in Bag of Cheetos
Experts baffled by mystery Mars rock (left), shown with quarter (center), cheeto (right).
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Body Condoms Catching On
"You can't be too careful," says New York single Steve Lindenham (pictured).
Study: Women May Ovulate More Than Once a Month
Now you tell us!” say women.
Study: Critical Bosses Cause
High Blood Pressure

But lead researcher calls results "sloppy, half-assed, poorly analyzed, totally unacceptable."

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