Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – JULY 21 - 27, 2003 
page two

FASHION
Sneak Peek: What Brides Will Be Wearing Next Year
At least the real slutty ones.
EDUCATION
University of California Bars Faculty From Dating Their Students
Rakes, roués, lotharios cry foul.
 
SPECIAL FEATURE
  Timeline of Events in Iraq Conflict
  Pivotal moments on the path to war.
 Aug. 8, 2002 - Wolfowitz lies about Iraq's WMDs.
 Sept. 23, 2002 - Rumsfeld lies about Iraq's WMDs.
 Dec. 11, 2002 - Cheney lies about Iraq's WMDs.
 Feb. 5, 2003 - Powell lies about Iraq's WMDs.
 March 2, 2003 - Bush lies about Iraq's WMDs.
NEW PRODUCTS
Dancing Robot Teaches While You Twirl!
Gave up learning how to dance when Arthur Murray died? Now you can learn, but without embarrassing yourself in front of others. The amazing Rhumba Dancing Robot teaches you to trip the light fantastic on any ballroom, with over eighty-five dances in its computer memory, including the rhumba, of course. Sorry, gals, a robot that leads is in development. $795, at all Only the Lonely stores.
 
SPORTS
Kobe Loses $45 Million Nike Contract
Signs $50 million contract with Trojan.
New Sport To Get Tryout at '04 Olympics
Synchronized Diving for Coins will be a demonstration sport in Athens.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
 ©  Copyright 2003 Ironic Times