| MISCELLANEOUS |
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Microsoft
Introduces Portable
Toilet With Internet
Access
Bill Gates hails it as
“first paperless
bathroom.” |
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| SPORTS |
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Baseball: Detroit Tigers, Off to
Worst Start in History, Quit
Team tells league it's going to
“take some time off, think things
over.” |
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Baseball: Moats Proposed to
Protect Players From Fans
Relief pitchers would enter game via
drawbridge. |
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Nude Tennis Tourney
Broadcast on Internet
Once again, unfortunately, Anna
Kournikova is eliminated early. |
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Cult of Don King
Gains Following
Long made-up words, fork-in-a-toaster
hairstyle distinguishes devotees. |
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| ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLER |
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| “Democrat”
is the correct name of the
political party currently out of
power. |
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|
It's
that time of year when the
networks roll out their primetime
schedules for next season. Here are
a few of the new shows to keep an
eye on: |
| “Mrs.
Ed” (NBC,
Sun., 9PM) - The classic sitcom
has been updated and turned into
a one-hour courtroom drama, with
Ed's better half a
tough-talking equine district
attorney who can only be
understood by the judge, played
by former Senator Fred Thompson.
Test audiences loved it. |
“True
Confessions” (Fox, Tues.,
8PM) - Real confessions,
ostensibly made to priests in
total privacy, acted out by hand
puppets and played for laughs.
Tough time slot. |
| “Witch
Hunt” (UPN,
Fri. 10PM) - Viewers are
encouraged to sniff out witches,
warlocks, and other oddballs in
their neighborhood and report
them to the authorities, and then
tell their story on national TV,
where bubbly host Jack Ashcroft
(you-know-who's younger
brother) keeps things moving
along at a brisk pace. Could
be a break-out hit. |
| (Mr. TV
is paid by the television
industry, whose opinions are
their own.) |
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