Ironic Times

 NO. 136 "Expect the Ironic" APRIL 21 - 27, 2003 

Apr 14
Apr 28
 
SYRIA'S NEW MINISTER OF INFORMATION DENIES U.S. CHARGES
Country not harboring ex-Iraqi officials, he claims.
 
WORLD NEWS
Democracy Slowly Taking Hold in Iraq
Slowly disappearing in U.S.
U.S. Sends 1,000 to Iraq on
Weapons Hunt

Five hundred to plant them, five hundred to find them.
UN to Lift Sanctions Against Iraq
When U.S. lifts sanctions against UN.
U.S. Unlikely to Attack Syria
Until cooler weather returns to region.
Ten Nations Join European Union
Now eligible for discounts at fine restaurants throughout Europe.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Shifts Focus to Domestic Agenda
Will begin bombing known hideouts of Democratic leadership.
Terror Alert Level Lowered to Yellow
Threat reduced, but Americans urged to keep 10,000 years of rations on hand, just in case.
White House Says it Has Proof
Saddam is Dead

Nixon called from Hell.
 
REMINDER
    Those expensive sneakers you're
    wearing were made by an
    8-year-old in Sumatra.
 
Bush Calls For Early Elections
In U.S.
 
POLITICS
Kerry Confides to Jewish Voters Family Name Used to be Kohn
Gephardt used to be Goldman, Edwards was Edelstein, Sharpton was Shapiro, Lieberman was Kerry.
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