Ironic Times

 NO. 117 "Expect the Ironic" DECEMBER 9 - 15, 2002 

Dec 2
Dec 16
 
KERRY POISED TO CHALLENGE GORE FOR '04 NOMINATION
Hopes to offer staid, stiff alternative to the goofball former vice president.
 
WORLD NEWS
Saudis Taking Terrorism Seriously
All suspicious Saudi women rounded up, thrown in jail.
Picture of Post-War Iraq Emerging
Daylight Savings Time, right turn on red light, martial law.
Buckingham Palace Quiet for Now
Nothing new expected until beginning of spring rutting season.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Study: Iraq War Could Cost
$1.9 Trillion

Plus shipping and handling.
“Talking Bush” Action Figure Season’s #1 Seller
It says, “Hiya, Kenny Boy,” “Nucular,” “Duh,” and five other Bushisms.
U. S. NEWS
Kissinger Completes 9/11 Investigation
"No one did anything wrong," he tells President.
White House Gives CIA
"License to Kill"

Also sells movie rights to any upcoming assassinations.
White House Distances Itself
From O'Neill, Lindsay

Describes them as "hardened Marxists who sought to overthrow the government."
 
REMINDER
    Wait until it comes out on video.
 
Ex-Aide Regrets “Mayberry Machiavellis” Remark About
White House

Says he never meant to defame Andy Griffith Show.
National Phone Survey: Cell Phones Lead to More Crashes
Accidents caused by people taking national phone surveys while driving are way up.
 
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