Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 2 - 8, 2002
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MISCELLANEOUS
Carnivores Protest Hong Kong McDonald's
Chain's new rice dish "has no meat in it whatsoever," they complain.
SPORTS
New York, San Francisco to
Vie for 2012 Olympics

International Olympic Committee will carefully examine each city's bribe before deciding.
Poll: Fans Unhappy With
Baseball Settlement

Most prefer coverage of pre-strike intrigue to dull, predictable pennant race.
 
SPECIAL FEATURE
 
Now that we've put the good guys in charge in Afghanistan, that country is once again Number 1 in the world in:
A)The evenhanded administration of justice.
B)Women's rights.
C)Supplying the world with heroin.
  (Answers when our fact checker gets out
  of rehab.)


Following announcements by CBS and Fox that they're bringing back, respectively, "The Beverly Hillbillies" and "Green Acres" as unscripted reality shows, comes word of WB's plan to similarly revive "Hogan's Heroes," using actual U.S. soldiers and real Nazis. They better expand their mailroom.

NBC has ordered new episodes of "Supertrain," but this time the melodrama stars real frightened passengers on a real Amtrak train facing real life-and-death situations. On UPN, a reality-based version of "Friends" will see how long six aimless, unemployed Gen-Xers can afford to live in a $3 million apartment in Manhattan.

And ABC, which is owned by Disney, chimes in with what may be the most unusual premise: a 24-hour camera trained on a mouse, a duck, and a dog, all dressed like humans. My money's on the dog.

Good viewing!

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