| PEOPLE |
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Angelyne Enters Race for
Hollywood City Council Seat
But many fear she may be overqualified. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Retirement Savings of Middle
Class Disappear in Stock Market Crash
But without prescription drugs, most will
die sooner, won't be needing funds. |
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Bush Economic Forum to
Feature Wealthy GOP Donors, Exclude
Critics
"We'll have a lively debate with a
cross section of Americans who agree with
me," he says. |
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Microsoft Opening Windows
Code to Everyone
Will also make Bill Gates's genome
available by end of month. |
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Chevy Suburban Adds .50-Caliber
Machine Gun Option
Feature is standard on
Chevy Urban. |
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| HEALTH /
MEDICINE |
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New Hormone Holds Promise for
60% Of Americans Now Overweight
Will be added to all burgers, fries says
McDonald's. |
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Eight Glasses of Water Not
Needed, Claims Dartmouth
Medical School Doctor
Unless you're on fire. |
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| SCIENCE |
 Latest Crop
Circles Rated NC-17
Blamed on immature
extraterrestrials. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Grateful Dead, Rolling
Stones,
The Who Tours Sold Out
All will appear next month at
Metamucilpalooza on the Isle of Wight. |
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Academy Awards to Be
Held A Month Earlier
Backstabbing, false rumors,
million-dollar slander campaigns will
also begin a month earlier. |
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Reality Shortage Puts
Networks in Bind
May be forced to hire "writers"
to "come up with" stories,
characters, dialogue. |
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