Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - AUGUST 5 - 11, 2002
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PICTURE OF THE WEEK
  Human Domino Record Broken
Also: record for world's largest orgy.
 
BUSINESS
Two More Commercial Pilots
Busted for Drinking

Airport bars rethinking two-drink minimum for pilots.
Financial Crisis Eases as Accountants Head for Beaches During Heat Wave
Too hot to cook books.
WorldCom Announces It’s
"Moving Forward"

New slogan replaces "Going Under."
 
 
CORRECTION
We erroneously reported that Noelle Bush, daughter of Florida Governor Jeb Bush and niece of President George W. Bush, had been sentenced to 30 years in prison for repeated drug offenses. In fact, Ms. Bush has been sentenced to report to a judge every other week on her progress in a drug rehabilitation program. We regret the error.
SCIENCE
Study By Scientist Couple:
Women Have Better Memory
For Emotional Events

Wife calls findings "earth-shaking"; husband says, "What findings?"
University of California Study: Dogs Smarter Than We Thought
Smarter than typical Californian.
 
SPACE
SETI Dishes Send Help Wanted Ads Into Deep Space
Hope aliens will take jobs nobody else wants.
 
SPECIAL FEATURE
1. Trust us: we're the good guys.
2. We gave you the Big Mac, what else do you want?
3. The Great Satan has a mother, too.
4. If we're so bad, why do you watch our movies?
5. Somebody has to be in charge – would you rather have the Russians?
6. The Germans?

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