| PEOPLE |
 |
Sock Puppet
Named New Homeland
Security Mascot
Joins in fight against
terrorism. |
|
 |
|
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Brits Stage "Bellringer of
Notre Dame," to Avoid
Offending Hunchbacks
Result: hunchbacks stay away in droves. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Betty Crocker Under Scrutiny
By SEC for Insider Trading
Fictional character says she
"can’t comment on an ongoing
investigation." |
|
Wal-Mart Denies
Work-For-No-Pay Accusations
Blames charges on "a few disgruntled
slaves." |
|
Company, Books Balanced,
Meets All Forecasts
Cali drug cartel avoids any hint
of financial scandal. |
| |
| THIS WEEK
IN HISTORY |
| |
 |
| |
202 A.D.: First Night Game
Played at Rome's Colosseum
Historic contest ends quickly, with
Lions winning 1-0. |
|
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
New Data: Extroverts Are
Problem Employees
Best workers are antisocial loners who
keep track of enemies, plan revenge. |
|
Latest Study: No Link Between
The Pill, Breast Cancer
Supersedes earlier study affirming
previously denied past report
establishing formerly rejected
connection, now disproved. |
| |
| LAW |
|
Homeland Security Department Will Be
Exempt from Freedom of Information,
Federal Whistleblower Protection Laws
And a few others we don't know about. |
|
Administration Finds Wording
of Pledge of Allegiance Problematic
National security could be compromised by
"liberty and justice for all." |
| |
 |
| Fill in the blank: |
| Major
pharmaceutical companies
were among 21 donors
paying $250,000 each to
the Republican party at a
gala event ____ days
after Republicans
unveiled a prescription
drug plan favorable to
the industry. |
A) 30
B) 15
C) 2 |
| (Hint: 3 days is a
long time if you're in a
hurry.) |
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