| PEOPLE |
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Joe Piscopo
Urged Not to Run for
Governor of New Jersey
Just in case the thought
ever crosses his mind. |
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Jenna Bush Accompanies Mother
On European Goodwill Tour
She visits four countries where
drinking age is 18. |
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Cardinal Mahony Apologizes
Places blame on sidekick, Msgr.
Knucklehead Smiff. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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"Star Wars" Fans
Who Waited Months Outside Theater
Finally See Film
They find it "superficial,"
"lacking in substance,"
"cartoon-y." |
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Fox Adds "Celebrity
Train
Wreck" to Fall Schedule
One-hour pilot featuring former
celebrities in head-on train collisions
tests well. |
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ABC Replaces Bill Maher
With Jimmy Kimmel
Peter Jennings replaced by Carrot
Top. |
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Manute Bol, Olga Korbut,
"Refrigerator" Perry
Appear on Celebrity Boxing
"It's not the size of the
dog," joked Korbut, just prior
to being knocked out. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: Patients Want Doctors in
White Coats, No Sneakers, Jeans
Also, no tattoos, spiked hair, nose
rings. |
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Canadian Study: Premature
Ejaculation a Problem for
One in Four Men
But three in four don't give a damn. |
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| SCIENCE |
 Scientists Apply for
"Humouse"
Patent
Half human, half mouse
will be first life form
to ask the ultimate
meaning of cats. |
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| WAR ON DRUGS |
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Study: Teens Use More Drugs
After Viewing Anti-Drug Ads
Latest campaign will urge teens to avoid
such ads. |
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| INTERNET |
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Latest Figures Show Web
Use Down Sharply
Fad over, people return to using library,
writing letters in longhand, and
fantasizing about the girl next door. |
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| MILESTONES |
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Famed Mafia Chieftain Joseph
"Joe Bananas" Bonanno Dies
Notorious godfather of all godfathers,
"capo di tutti capo," boss of
all bosses; after slipping on a banana
peel. |
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