Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO - MAY 13 - 19, 2002
page three

POLITICS
Traficant Running Again
He'll seek presidency of the Hair Club For Men.
EDUCATION
Test Results: U.S. Kids Don't Know Basic American History
Prize-winning historians lament, plagiarize report.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Mariah Carey Signs New Deal
She'll receive $20 million to not sing or record.
TV: Reunion Show "Reunion" Planned
Would bring back stars from reunion shows for a reunion.
Former Super-Agent Mike Ovitz Signs Ex-"Seinfeld" Stars
Also negotiating with Robert Blake, O.J. Simpson.
"Dragnet," "Honeymooners,"
Other '50s Icons Returning

Also: Army-McCarthy Hearings, HUAC, nuclear testing.
 
 
TV: TOP 5 SHOWS LAST WEEK
  1. "The Bachelor"
2. "Blind Date"
3. "Married With Children"
4. "Divorce Court"
5. "Six Feet Under"
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Those Who Drink 5 Glasses of
Water a Day Less Likely to
Have Heart Attack

Study paid for by makers of Depends.
Report Claims Having Boys Reduces Mom's Life Expectancy
But being mildly depressed increases it, so it's a wash.
 
Study: Obese Children Adding to Health Costs
Even Miss Teenage America contestants (right) getting heavier every year, doctors say.
 
SCIENCE
NASA: Upgraded Hubble Seeing Back to Just After Universe Began
Next upgrade will provide look at universe just before it began.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Most Popular Pesticide Turns Male Frogs Into Females
Humans "asleep at the wheel," screams outraged Kermit.
 
ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLER
 
224 is the correct number of former Enron executives currently working in the Bush Administration.

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