| PICTURE OF THE
WEEK |
 |
Philip
Morris Machine Smoked
Low-Tar, Nicotine Cigarettes
For Years
Never got cancer. |
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| |
| ODDS AND ENDS |
|
Head of Homeland Security
Announces Color Alerts for
Nation's Capital |
| |
| GREEN |
= |
normal
corruption: nothin' special |
| YELLOW |
= |
lobbyists
on beltway: caution |
| ORANGE |
= |
energy
execs in Oval Office: duck and
cover |
| RED |
= |
lawyers
with loopholes spotted on the
Hill: stay indoors, away from
windows |
|
| |
| LEISURE |
|
Pole Dancing
Up Since 9/11
Experts offer no good
explanation for
jump. |
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 |
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|
 
Q: Recently, I was fired from my
job at a military bio-warfare lab
in Maryland, and I'd like to
take revenge for the shabby way I
was treated. What should I do?
A: Write some threatening letters
to prominent media figures,
that'll get some attention.
Q: I've cornered the market
on cheap Hawaiian shirts made
overseas by child slave labor.
I'd like to pass them off as
expensive ones and dump them on
some unsuspecting retailer here
in the states. Any advice?
A: Duh. Change the labels.
Q: I'm the former CEO of an
energy trading firm in Houston,
Texas, and was just wondering-
A: Go no further, pal, I
can't help you. |
| (Address all
correspondence to Ask the Devil,
P.O. Box 2002, Hell) |
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