Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - OCTOBER 15 - 22, 2001
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TRAVEL
Don't Worry About Flying, Says FAA
Worry about breathing.
TIP OF THE WEEK: To be sure Air Marshals are on your plane, book the same flight as a Cabinet member flying to demonstrate the safety of air travel.
 
SPORTS
Two Claim Rights to Bonds' 73rd Home Run Ball
Last game of season may have to be replayed.
 
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
1095 AD: Pope Urban II Declares Holy War on Muslim World
King Richard I of England leads coalition of western forces to Middle East to wrest control of Holy Land from heathens and infidels in the name of Christianity.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Millions Evacuated After Anthrax Scare
Populations of Florida, Georgia, and Virginia relocated to Montana as a "precautionary" measure.


Mohammad Zahir Shah
Age: 87
Position: Exiled King of Afghanistan
 
Proudest Achievement: “Lately? Going to the bathroom.”

Biggest Regret: “Being deposed and exiled to Italy almost thirty years ago.”

Favorite book: “Living in Style on the Italian Riviera” by Robin Leach.

If I had one wish: “I'd wish to once again assume the throne, and go to the bathroom.”

Favorite drink: “What? Oh -- Dewar's, of course!”
 

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