Ironic Times

NO. 30 "Expect the Ironic" APRIL 9 - 15, 2001

Apr 2
Apr 16
BUSH WELCOMES JUNIOR CHEFS TO WHITE HOUSE
Samples many recipes prepared by 5-year olds.
WORLD NEWS
China Will Return U.S. Spy
Plane After Slight Delay

Wants to make sure ashtrays are emptied, aisles vacuumed, magazines restocked.
Northern Lights From Solar
Flares Delight Millions

Take edge off fact earth faces imminent doom.
Bush Accidentally Accepts
Kyoto Accords

Thought he was getting two new Hondas.
Taliban Destroying Computerized Images
Deleting every picture of Buddha on the Internet.
U. S. NEWS
Postal Service May End
Saturday Deliveries

Will use day for anger management classes.
Feudal System To Replace Tax Code
IRS closes, poor will pay rich directly.
Dept. of Education Missing
$450 Million

"Dog ate it," says spokesperson.
Bush Tells Broccoli Farmers
To Destroy Crop

Cites threat of hoof-and-mouth disease.
 
REMINDER
For every loser in the stock market like you there is a winner not like you.
 
FRINGE
A fifty thousand year-old mummified body of a male human, recently retrieved from the frozen tundra of northern Siberia, walked out of the Museum of Natural History in New York last week, and is still at large.
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 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times