Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - MARCH 26 - APRIL 1, 2001
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SPORTS
NASCAR Season Cancelled
Lack of any living drivers is to blame.
NBA Refs Sued For Racial Profiling
Most fouls called on African-American players, suit alleges.
 
MEDIA
News-to-Advertising Ratios Adjusted Slightly at U.S. Newspapers
Just in time for spectacular spring sale at your nearest Sears.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
WEST HOLLYWOOD'S NATIONAL GUARD UNIT STRUTS ITS STUFF
Annual “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” parade draws thousands of onlookers.
 
CORRECTION
Last week, in our listing of films for the whole family, we erroneously gave a G rating to the movie, “Snow White Does the Seven Dwarfs.” It should have been rated XXX. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.
A Conversation
With ...


Gale Norton, Secretary of the Interior
IronicTimes: You've put photographs of offshore oil platforms on the walls of the Interior Department alongside the old photos of National Parks. Any other innovations?
Norton: Well, there's the Mining for Millions program, where we invite the CEO's of the top mining companies to compete for extraction rights in our National Parks by answering really easy questions.
IronicTimes: What are you doing in the area of wildlife protection?
Norton: We have an exciting new initiative, the Animal Early Warning Alert, where we go into a National Park weeks before an oil drilling operation is scheduled to begin and give the li'l critters plenty of advance notice.
IronicTimes: You've been an advocate of "multiple use" for our public lands. Is there anything besides mining and oil drilling you'd like to add to the mix?
Norton: Yes. Weapons testing.

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