Ironic Times

NO. 25 "Expect the Ironic" MARCH 5 - 11, 2001

Feb 26
Mar 12
GADDAFI HOSTS ANNUAL GROUP OF ONE MEETING
Libyan leader delivers keynote address to himself to open conference.
WORLD NEWS
Milosevic to Face Charges Over Purchase of House in Belgrade
Also unpaid parking tickets, violation of leash laws.
Shakespeare Was Pothead, Say Archeologists
Roach clip, candy wrappers dating to 1600's found near Bard's house.
Art Lovers Plead with Taliban Not to Destroy Afghan Art Treasures
But New York Mayor Giuliani invites them to visit Brooklyn Museum.
 
IRONIC TIMES EXCLUSIVE
CHELSEA CLINTON WAS MASTERMIND BEHIND PARDON RING
Ran international bribery,
extortion racket; other family members mere pawns.
U. S. NEWS
FBI Spy Hanssen Pleads Not Guilty
Blames TV and movies for his actions.
Census Bureau: Recount Unnecessary
Got “all the whites, and most of the others.”
Bush, Congress Toughen
Bankruptcy Laws
Now, only the rich can go bankrupt.
Leading Contenders for '04 Democratic Nomination Gather in Atlantic City
Gary Hart, Dan Rostenkowski, Marion Barry all make an appearance.
 
REMINDER
This is the first day of the rest of your nightmarish existence.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New Evidence Breast Implants Can Cause Heart Attacks
Doctors say men with weak hearts should avoid women with breast implants.
Shortage of Organs for Transplants Spurs Search for Creative Solutions
Most popular so far: raising speed limit.
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