Ironic Times

NO. 6 "Expect the Ironic" OCTOBER 23 - 29, 2000

Oct 16
Oct 30
NADER
DRINKING
AGAIN

Green Party candidate falls off wagon, blames the pressure of campaigning.
WORLD NEWS
Miss World Furious at Miss America Over Unpaid UN Debt
"I'm neutral," says Miss Universe.
Russia Will Auction Off Nuclear
Arsenal on Ebay
Needs the cash.
New Study Indicates 15 Million Frenchmen Can Be Wrong
"Not news to us," say French women.
Big Screen TVs, Beer, Barcaloungers to Be Dropped on West Bank
Effort to ease tensions, American style.
 
SPORTS
World Series Game Called
on Account of Spit
Drains clogged, infield flooded.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
RUSSIAN COMIC YAKOV SMIRNOFF DEPORTED
"What a country," he sneers sarcastically.
U. S. NEWS
New Study Shows Dramatic
Drop in Texas Poverty Rate

Most now off welfare, on death row.
Chicago Woman Finds Glass
Eye in Package of M&Ms
Sues for $150 million.
American Workers Rated
No. 1 at Solitaire
Canadian workers next, then Germans, French.
Newly Released Tapes Show
Nixon Ate Some on Enemies List
Defenders cite China opening, other achievements.
 
SCIENCE
  Crop Circles Definitely the
Work of Pranksters
However, authorities not sure what planet they're from.
 
ELECTION 2000
Bush Says He's "Queer as a
Three-Dollar Bill"

Candidate later apologizes for verbal flub.
Tight Race Sparks New Interest
Record low voter turnout expected, but 68% will place bets on outcome.
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